Caspar David Friedrich, 'Wanderer above the Sea of Fog' (oil on canvas, c. 1818). This Romantic-era masterpiece is housed at the Hamburger Kunsthalle museum in, Hamburg, Germany.

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August 12, 2025 opinion

The hardest question: “Where are you from?”

Elias Malmqvist in Nagasaki, Japan

18-year-old argues that home is defined by people, not places

The most difficult question I have ever been asked is: “Where are you from?”

Every time I am asked this, I freeze. A list of answers race through my mind and turn into an awkward laugh and an unconfident: “It’s a bit complicated but let’s just say Sweden.”

However it’s more complicated than that. I was born in Sweden, but only lived there until I was seven. I have also lived in Chile for a small period. But then there’s also the American side, having lived in both Los Angeles and Charlotte for almost seven years. And then I moved to Indonesia for four years and now I am studying in the UK, so what about that part?

Every time this question is asked I fail to answer it as succinctly as some of my friends are able to answer the very simple question with one very simple word. I became envious of the people who could say, “I was born and raised in…” For me, it felt like I was born somewhere but raised everywhere.

Although this comes from a very privileged standpoint in the sense that I was able to travel and live in many different countries and cultures, I feel a lack of roots, or solidarity in my background.

As the saying goes: “You want what you can’t have.”

Everyone envies something that is unattainable or inaccessible, mostly because it seems to be so much better or so much cooler or so much easier. But I believe that it is about learning how to be grateful for your environment and your situation from what you experience and the lessons you learn.

So, for me. I lack that solid background. That one house I grew up in. That one neighborhood I know like the back of my hand. The ability to answer “Where are you from?” or “Where do you live?”, or “Are you going home for the holidays” with a simple one word answer.

My experiences – good and bad – as a third culture kid

by Camille Hasbani

in Copehnagen, Denmark

But it is not all bad. I have been able to make friendships with people all over the world and although they may not be childhood friends I knew since I was three, they are still great people that I enjoy.

Through the years I have realised that it is not about where you call home, but who you call home. Whether that be family members or close friends, all you need is your people who make you feel at home.

So for all of you who feel like you cannot call anywhere home or have no simple answer to these questions, you are not alone.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is the people that feel like home.

Written by:

Elias Malmqvist

Writer

Bali, Indonesia

Born in 2007 in Malmo, Elias has studied in Sweden, Chile, California, North Carolina, and Bali. He is interested in business, entrepreneurship, management and international relations and plans to study along those lines. For Harbingers’ Magazine, he writes about economics, society, international relations, and sports.

In his free time, Elias plays football, does Maui Thai, goes to the gym, enjoys riding motorbikes and spending quality time with friends and family. He has played high level football his entire life and runs a microbusiness teaching football to young athletes.

Elias speaks English and Swedish.

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